Oh come on! Somebody somewhere has to say something! Otherwise I can't go to sleep. I can't go to sleep if I'm the last one posting. You know that, you who know, don't you?

We should have seen this coming. Kevin nailed it the other day when he mentioned the word Evangelical. The problem with this blog is that it hasn't been nearly Evangelical enough. Where are the spotty adolescent zealots rushing out into the bushes of southern Algeria or western Sudan or the ski resorts of northern Iran to spread the word and bring in eager Niner beavers ready at the drop of a hat to pick up the slack and otherwise mix metatphors and cover all bases when it comes to idiomatic cliches? They'd be here, right now, if we had had the foresight to get organized and hire Jerry Lewis or whomever to run a Paloozathon to sign up a horde of chuckleheads with the reflexes of a venus fly trap to step in whenever one of us veterans starts yawning and leaning one too many times on the walker.

Dammitall! I haven't wasted sixteen years of my life on this blog just to sit here in the dead of night listening to the heating pipes sputtering in my study and wonder if everyone left the room because they think I farted.

Get busy, invisible, virtual, potential voices. Bust your tonsils, if it's not too much to ask. Pretty please.

Ah f%&* it.

Where's my KY jelly and my helmet?