Never, ever call it soccer. Soccer is an abomination. It's association football. Or rugby football. Never soccer.

Personally I think this American game should be renamed "@ssball." It's the only sport I know where a guy sticks his hands up against another dude's @ss to get things started.

And I'd like to see the NFL introduce forward snaps. "Hut hut!" and then the QB leapfrogs over the back of the center while the center pitches the ball three or four feet forward to where the QB can catch it.