Kap and Crab. Sounds like a dish at Tadish Grill. Or for early games, maybe Kap'n Crab breakfast cereal. More Randomicity. If I had Bill Gates money, I'd say 'screw curing Malaria!' . Instead I'd buy both the Niners and Cowboys. Every year, I'd trade all the Bovine Boy's draft picks to the Niners in exchange for five loaves of Boudin's and a Coit Tower key chain. The fact that the Boys would thus perpetually suck would not only be reward in and of itself, but would ensure high draft picks for the Niners to trade for. During their games, I'd also have Rick Perry on perpetual loop on the mega-tron, saying "oops"' because, well, you can, in fact, mess with Texas.

But really, here is what I wonder. When the Niners move to their new stadium, do you think the blimp will still make the drive up the Penninsula to take thrilling vistas of San Francisco, or do you think instead that they will stay local and give us aerial shots of the mud flats, abandoned salt ponds, and the nearby sewage treatment plant?